Sleep Deprivation

Before I write this post just a little pre note to say sorry for any spelling mistakes or sentences that make no sense, I had very little sleep last night...

SLEEP : When did it become such a luxury? When did I start to crave it, daydream about it... cry for it...?

When little man was born they said "don't worry by 3 months it'll be better"... when he was 3 months they said "don't worry by 6 months it will be better"... when he was 6 months... " don't worry once he starts walking he'll use his energy and he'll sleep"... a year passed and then I think they didn't know what to say anymore. I think I got my first propper nights sleep around 18 months. 18 MONTHS!! Add the sleepless nights of pregnancy and that is almost 2 years of broken sleep... Add on top of that late nights from working in the restaurant and that all adds up to a VERY tired little me.

The very reason I made my resolutions was because I felt like for the last 2 years I have been living in some kind of bubble, unable to function due to the overwhelming fog that clouded my brain. I have been so frustrated by having so many ideas and good ambitions and not being able to do anything because of the crippling tiredness.

Last night went as follows... Little man finally fell asleep at 22h15 I went to bed at 23h15... took a little time to get to sleep. My husband woke me up around I guess 1 am when he got home from work.... Little man woke up crying at 2h15... no question of going back to sleep so brought him in my bed, when I realised a nappy change was needed... finally got back to sleep around 3h15, when at 3h20 my husband decided to go to bed and wakes me up again... Got back to sleep around 4h00, woke up every 30 mins because I was being kicked and then little man finally woke up at 6h45... where does he get his energy????

It's only Monday so I won't burst into tears like I want to. I will be strong and positive and take deep breaths and try and accomplish the things I wanted to today... and hope that tonight will be better.